Mother, Where Art Thou?

The dates in the calendar are coming thick & fast. We’ve only just seen off Valentines Day, St Patrick’s Day and the 1st Day of Spring and we find ourselves arriving at Mother’s Day.

Days such as Mother’s Day can be happy events, celebrations of the people who brought us into the world but can also be conflicting experiences. For those who were fortunate enough to have had nourishing and loving relationships with their parents, it is a day of celebration and appreciation for those who gave us life and have supported & guided us, and have been a positive presence in our lives.

However, not all of us are so fortunate, for all sorts of reasons.

Perhaps you have lost your Mother along the way and Mother’s day serves as a bitter reminder of her absence and your grief.

Perhaps your Mother is still very much alive but is suffering with an illness like dementia or cancer and this anniversary reminds you of her suffering and existential threat.

Or, perhaps your relationship with your Mother hasn’t been a positive experience and the day reminds you of bitter past experiences and the kind of relationship you never had.

Today my message is simple: Of course, today is a day to celebrate Motherhood. However, that doesn’t mean you have to celebrate your relationship with your Mother. So, I invite you to include a healthy dose of ‘self’ishness around Mother’s day.

What do you need from it?

Give to it what you feel is appropriate and congruent with your feelings, and take from it what you need.

If the day is likely to be adversely triggering for you in some way, then think ahead and plan your self-care around the day. How will you look after yourself on a challenging day like this?

Think about your needs as they are now and how these can be met.

There are no right or wrong answers here – Just think about the things that are within your control, the things that will give you peace of mind, and focus on achieving those.

If you would like to talk about mental health issues, whether it be for yourself or someone you know feel free to contact BroadMinds Therapy for help & advice. Call (+353) 0899420568, email help@broadmindstherapy.org , message us via this website, or visit our facebook page http://www.facebook,com/jpbroad for more information.

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