Back to School Stress

I remember all too well the butterflies in my tummy, the tightness in my muscles and the feelings of dread, lethargy and fatigue the night before. I never found going back to school after the summer holidays easy.

It wasn’t made any easier by the stress that used to overwhelm my mother as she rushed to get everything needed for the new school year over the last few days of the holidays.

Back-to-school stress and anxiety is a common experience that we can help take the heat out of with some simple measures. So here goes… Here are our back-to-school tips for helping you & your children return to school.

What Can I Control?

• Self-Care: Start by looking after yourself. Note what you need to do to look after yourself so that you not only optimise your own health & mental functioning but are better able to be a positive & supportive parent. This includes several elements such as:

1. Diet & Nutrition: Healthy eating & drinking habits with occasional treats.
2. Getting enough rest & sleep.
3. Keeping active.
4. Tending to personal hygiene & grooming.
5. Identify & use activities for destressing such as exercise, meditation, yoga – whatever works for you.
6. Adopt constructive behaviours rather than destructive ones like drinking alcohol & smoking.
7. Hobbies & interests. Plan & organise what you want to do with your free time.

• Use Your Support Network, including:

1. Informal supports such as friends & relatives.
2. Formal supports including professional services like your doctor, counselling, support groups, etc.

• Communication: How we communicate has huge implications for what we do with the content we share. There are 2 components of communication:

1. Transmission: What we say & do – The messages we send out.
2. Reception: What we hear, see & sense.

Both of these are influenced by our own subjective experience & interpretation. The same message said differently or perceived differently can greatly affect how we feel about what is being said & done. This is good news because it means you can choose what you do with the information. I’m paraphrasing a little here but, so the saying goes, Someone can only make you feel bad with your consent. In other words, you choose how you react & respond both emotionally & physically.

• Goal Setting: Consider and negotiate learning goals for the year. Go easy with this.. I want to emphasise the word Negotiate. Goals shouldn’t be imposed, they should be up for discussion and willingly accepted and agreed. For example, if you know from parents meetings & school reports that your child needs to work on their reading, talk about this with your child and see what they think is holding them back. Listen to what they say and consult their teachers to develop a plan to help with that. Don’t assume that you know best!

Set the example here, too. Identify & set your own goals. Share them with the family and share in the achievements & set backs.

Use SMART goals to structure your plans & use set backs to refine your plans. For more on SMART goals see our articles on goals earlier this year in January – This article refers specifically to SMART goals: Don’t Look Back In Anger, Look Forward With Hope – Integrative Counselling And Psychotherapy (broadmindstherapy.org)

As part of goal setting you could also look to develop a learning agreement with the children. For example, a general agreement about when & how they will do homework and consider & discuss the sort of environment they use for their home learning. This might include, for example, constraints on phone use while doing homework, consideration of distractions, where they sit & work, and times, etc. This should be an evolutionary process – one in which you can discuss what works & what doesn’t & being prepared to adapt & change in response to those needs.

• Do It Early. When it comes to purchasing uniforms, learning materials, etc. do it early. Don’t leave things to the last week or few days. This will only put you under greater pressure and the stress will trickle down through the family, and before you know it, everyone is stressed out & anxious. These don’t make for fertile conditions for a harmonious family environment.

Take the potential for stress out of the equation by doing what you can as early as you can.

Although the process of getting the kids back to school isn’t a mental health issue, it can be a very stressful experience. There is always more that can be done to take the heat out of circumstances like this but I think the above is a good place to start.

If you would like to talk, BroadMinds Therapy offer a free consultation during which you’ll get the opportunity to describe what’s on your mind & we’ll be happy to help you, either directly, or help identify the best options for you.

If you’d like to discuss Counselling & Psychotherapy for yourself or someone you know, contact BroadMinds Therapy and we’ll be happy to answer any questions you have and discuss options for you. Call 0899420568, email: help@broadmindstherapy.org , contact us via this website or visit our facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/jpbroad

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As always, thanks for taking the time to read this article.