Maybe you’ve been out for a few walks or runs over the past couple of weeks but it’s cold, wet & dark outside… and lonely. The diet might be in full swing but the left over chocolate biscuits from Christmas that you hid at the back of the cupboard in the hope you’d forget about are calling. And they’re getting louder every day.
Whatever your New Year’s resolution is by now there may well be a sniff of doubt in the air. That doubt being… I’m not sure I can do this. Hopefully that thought hasn’t crossed your mind yet but at some point it probably will. Around 11% of all New Years Resolutions falter before the end of January and 55% don’t make it to the end of the year.
So let’s get ahead of the curve.. let’s plan for success & for the wobbles, the temptations, the relapses and, so you have an example to work with, I will relate these to my stated goal in my last post of improving my 10km run time by 3 minutes.
First up then: What is your attitude to problems? They’re bad news, right? Of course, we’d rather have a trouble-free life but if you see problems purely as a negative then you are missing half of the story. Problems can also be an opportunity for change & improvement. Achieving your goals will feel far greater if you’ve had to overcome a few problems on the way so learn to appreciate them and see them as an opportunity to learn.
- I encountered a couple of problems last week involving childcare which put a dent in my schedule. It was frustrating but on reflection, I focused on the things that I could control like taking the opportunities that do arise and accepting that sometimes, life throws curve balls at us that can mean we have to reschedule – on this occasion my training plan for that day.
Assessment: Navigating any journey will be a lot easier if you know where you are when you start & where the finish line is. It will also help if you check the signposts on the way.
Signposts tell us where we are right now with our fitness & skills and helps us work out what we need to do to achieve our goal. Without that disappointing experience we may not have seen the signposts!
- The signpost that I noticed as a result of this experience was my frustration at not being able to run the day my childcare arrangements went awry. The frustration is a sign of my commitment and intention to work towards my goal. It can be a rich source of motivation if channelled positively
Balance Credit & Critique
- OK, so I didn’t get to train that day but God knows I wanted to and that’s creditable in itself. And by way of a critique, I learned to take the opportunities when they do present themselves rather than assume that my plans for the future will come to fruition.
What Next? Refinement! I now know that I am motivated and to take opportunities. So I have options.. For example, I can make sure that I have my kit ready for use so that when opportunities do present themselves, not only am I motivated but I’m all set & ready to go.
Secondly, I will keep records & a journal of my efforts & performance. As I progress through the weeks, I will build up a picture of what is working well and what isn’t and this can be used to further refine plans.
It’s important not to rely on our memories to do the work. Write down our experiences & use those records to reflect on our experience with a view to refining our approach for the future.
Third, let’s now think about some of the challenges and obstacles that may get in the way of achieving our goals.
Common reasons for failing to achieve our goals:
Setting unrealistic goals: For example, attempting to achieve too much too soon is a common mistake.
Setting vague goals such as I want to lose some weight. Specify an amount with milestones that define a route towards achieving that goal.
Having unreasonable or unrealistic expectations: For example, people are often surprised at how difficult it can be to break old habits and create new ones. Some estimates put the creation of new automatic behaviours as taking around 66 days while a relapse can take just one moment.
Expecting change to be easy can be a big part of the problem.
Trying to change too much at once: Implementing big changes to your lifestyle can be very challenging in itself. Incremental change is far more manageable. Don’t try to change too much at once. Think back to the Lewin model of change described in our last post: Unfreeze your current habits – then Change to the new behaviours – then Refreeze in your new position.
Fourth, develop a mission statement that clearly states what you want to achieve. Then think about the What, Why, Where, Who, & How in relation to your goal. We are going to extend this structure to also think about the obstacles & challenges that may stand in your way & look at ways of avoiding these pitfalls.
Share that mission statement with trusted friends & relatives. Hopefully they will be supportive and encourage you every step of the way.
Fifth, identify the likely obstacles & pitfalls that may stand in your way of achieving your goals. For example, if those biscuits in the back of your cupboard threaten to ruin your resolve in dieting then give them away. There will be no shortage of people who will be happy to relieve you of a chocolate biscuit burden. You could also replace those unhealthy snacks with healthy ones, such as fruit.
Sixth, develop a plan for each obstacle. For example, if you think that getting home after work and putting on your trainers to go for a run in the cold, wet & dark isn’t very appealing then consider finding a running buddy to run with. You are more likely to commit to the regime if you have a partner in crime, so to speak. Or consider running at a different time of day or even trying a different activity. In short, identify the problems that may lay ahead & then develop plans to deal with them.
Planning for success also includes planning for failure. What will you do if you fail in achieving your goals? Give up..? Or learn from the experience & try again? Failure is only ever complete if you fail to learn from it so think about how you can do that and motivate yourself to go again ahead of any failure.
Finally, be kind to yourself! At regular intervals reward your achievements in meeting your milestones on the way to achieving your overall goal. For example, I use a 6 + 1 plan for my week: If I am disciplined with my diet & exercise plan for 6 days, then on 7th I take a day off training and loosen the dietary discipline and treat myself with something delicious.
The point is that our focus on goals should never replace enjoyment in life. Enjoyment is one of the things that is going to keep us motivated so build fun into the programme. Whether that comes in the form of treats & rewards or whether your goal is built around something you already enjoy, don’t lose sight of the fun. Make fun part of the focus. For me, fun looks like running with my son and having ice cream together!
If you would like to talk about your goals, hopes & dreams or help with a mental health issue then reach out to us at BroadMinds Therapy. Get in touch for a free consultation.
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Web: http://www.broadmindstherapy.org
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Integrative Counselling And Psychotherapy 