Coping With Porn & Sex Addiction

Let’s start & finish this article by asking the question: What do you think?

For some, Porn or Sex addiction is just an excuse for ‘bad’ behaviour. For others, they are genuine conditions that can be ruinous to people’s lives.

Let’s start the conversation with a look at the facts rather than opinions.. Yes! Despite what some seem to think, there really is a difference.

Statistics suggest that between 5% & 8% of the population have shown some kind of addictive behaviour when it comes to use of pornography and around 5% of the population have shown similar addictive behaviours with sex.

Porn & sex addictions are often treated as distinct addictions however, there is a lot of crossover between the two & there are many parallels. An article in the November 2018 BACP magazine ‘Therapy Today’: Porn Stole My Sex Life by Paula Hall, draws these together under an umbrella term. Hall cites the recognition of the World Health Organisation in June 2018 identifying Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD), not as an ‘addictive disorder’ but as an Impulse Control Disorder pending further research, to be included in the next edition of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-II) due in May 2019.

“CSBD is characterised by a persistent pattern of behaviour of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges, resulting in sexual behaviour over an extended period (6 months or more) that causes marked distress or impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning. .. Behaviour must not be a symptom of another underlying condition & distress must extend beyond moral conflict.”

Source: Therapy Today. November 2018 issue. P20-23. BACP. Paula Hall.

Despite current research suggesting that sexual behaviour arises from transcriptional & epigenetic mechanisms, the same mechanisms that mediate drug addiction, it remains a non-clinical diagnosis in the DSM & ICD with some arguing that pathologising ‘normal’ human behaviour will lead to the application of medical models and ‘cause harm’.

In other words, if we medicalise variations of sexual behaviours we could be attributing reasons for variations of normal human behaviour & do more harm than good in trying to treat something that is not a medical issue.

Indeed, others such as Clinical Psychologist Dr David Ley, author of The Myth of Sex Addiction, denies its very existence. Arguing that it is not a stand-alone psychiatric disorder, or an addiction. He identifies 3 types of Sex ‘Addict’:

1. A group of self-diagnosed, wealthy, white, middle-aged males who have ‘got into trouble, putting their penis somewhere they’re not supposed to be putting it’ and try to explain their behaviour by claiming to be a ‘sex addict’.
2. People who claim to be heterosexual but experiment with homosexuality and then use the label of sex addiction to explain their behaviour when they’ve been ‘outed’.
3. People from strict religious communities or families who indulge in sexual activities like online porn, and then attempt to explain their behaviour by claiming to be the unfortunate sufferers of a ‘disease’.

Source: Addicted to Sex. BBC Podcast. Dec 2018.

Regardless, it’s the view at BroadMinds Therapy that we neither judge people based on their sexual behaviours or look for validity of these arguments. What guides us is whether your sexual behaviours are harmful to either you or others, and whether you want to change. Regardless, we view addiction as an effect rather than a cause. It is a coping measure, an attempt to deal with some kind of internal distress that may be unseen by others.

To be clear, that doesn’t exempt people from bad behaviour. That is to say that, in treatment, we are concerned with explanations rather than excuses.

To briefly highlight some distinguishing factors & facts:

• Porn Addiction:

1. Is a preoccupation-to-obsession with sexual imagery involving at least 11 hrs per week, but often much more time, spent seeking out & viewing pornography.
2. Involves a loss of control over time spent on the above activities. Addicts may experience many failed attempts to limit use or completely abstain.
3. Involves negative consequences as a result of compulsive use of pornography which may extend to dual addictions/comorbidity such as substance addiction.
4. Is often accompanied by compulsive masturbation which draws together the conditions of sex & porn related behaviours.

• Sex Addiction (Aka: Sexual Compulsivity, Hypersexuality, &/or Hypersexual Disorder): An ongoing pattern of compulsive sexual fantasy & behaviour driven by a need for sexual fulfilment required to feel ‘normal’ that results in serious consequences for the life of the sufferer, & potentially others, too. It often leaves the sufferer feeling powerless & with low self-esteem.

1. It involves a preoccupation-to-obsession with sexual fantasy & behaviour involving many hours engaged in fantasising, planning, pursuing & engaging in sexual activity. It drives decision making and influences choices such as clothing, exercise, and career.
2. It involves a loss of control of sexual fantasies & behaviours. Sufferers may experience many failed attempts to limit related behaviour.
3. It involves negative consequences as a result of sexual behaviour – risky behaviours such as:

• Exposure to disease
• Risk to personal safety
• Breakdown of relationships
• Compulsive heterosexual/homosexual relationships
• Exhibitionism
• Prostitution
• Indecent unelicited phone calls
• Child abuse
• Voyeurism
• Compulsive masturbation
• Incest
• Porn Addiction
• Rape & Violence

.. and is often accompanied by other addictions – Dual addiction statistics for dependency & compulsions:

1. Chemical 42%
2. Eating Disorders 38%
3. Spending & shopping 26%
4. Working 28%
5. Gambling 5%

Current research suggests that most sufferers are male. However, research has largely been limited to males, so statistics on this balance are unreliable. Treatments for both Porn Addiction & Sex Addiction might typically involve but are not limited to the 12-step process.

If you would like to talk about Porn or Sex addiction, or any other mental health issue please call 0899420568, email help@broadmindstherapy.org for a free, private, confidential & discrete discussion. You can also visit our facebook page https://www.facebook.com/jpbroad for more information.

Finally, thank you for taking the time to read this. Please like & share to help us reach & help as many people as possible.