A quick look at tier 4 of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the penultimate of the 5 tier model, and there appears a couple of elements that at, first glance, seem a bit mysterious. Up to this point in our journey through the model all the elements we’ve discussed haven’t needed too much explanation for their inclusion. My guess is that most of use knew, at some level, that we need to organise our lives in certain ways to promote better health, and we probably also had some insight into what elements are needed to achieve this, like food, water, safety, etc..
However…, Respect..? What is meant by this in the context of mental health & well-being? Respect for who or from whom? Or for what, exactly?
Well, in short, this highlights our need for Respect & appreciation from others whether they be family, friends, colleagues, etc. It recognises a need to have our efforts, achievements and accomplishments appreciated by others. For example, if you want to progress in your career, you need someone to recognise your qualities, talents, efforts & achievements in order to reward you with promotion.
But this example is quite limited in scope. How does our need for Respect relate to our personal growth & drive to fulfil our potential as human beings; We are, after all, much more than our vocation!
If we think back to earlier stages in our development, both through the hierarchy of needs but also through our personal experience over the years, our need for connection with others should be well understood. Not only do we need others at various points in our life to help provide for our basic needs, to nourish us as children with food, clothing & shelter, but we also need love and appreciation to nourish us at a more spiritual, emotional & psychological level.
If that sounds a little bit too hippy for you, step back for a moment and imagine a child presenting a picture painted earlier at school to her parents, only for them to brush it aside and say “never mind that, here, have an apple!” Of course, the child needs food, but she also needs love & appreciation to grow, and in meeting those needs we convey our Respect for her & her needs, and implicitly acknowledge her intrinsic value as a human being. Without it, she will only get so far with her growth and one might well argue that such a case would be one of neglect.
When we are neglected by others it can have a disastrous impact on our self-esteem because that neglect can carry with it the implicit message that we are not worthy of love & respect; That we are worthless.
Respect therefore can deliver the message that we are worthy of love & appreciation which can help us build our self-esteem. Better still, it gives us a reference model, one that can help us learn to love ourselves and others. Love, kindness and respect can grow within as well as with-out – it spreads as it grows and others soon benefit from the kindness and respect shown to us.
If you would like to talk, BroadMinds Therapy offer a free consultation during which you’ll get the opportunity to describe what’s on your mind & we’ll be happy to help you, either directly, or help identify the best options for you.
If you’d like to discuss Counselling & Psychotherapy for yourself or someone you know, contact BroadMinds Therapy and we’ll be happy to answer any questions you have and discuss options for you. Call 0899420568, email: help@broadmindstherapy.org , contact us via this website or visit our facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/jpbroad
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